


Breathe In and Drink Up the Sky

by Miaou Jones (miaoujones)



Category: Free!
Genre: Breathplay, First Kiss, Friendship, Love, M/M, Pool Sex, Underwater Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:43:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaoujones/pseuds/Miaou%20Jones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here in the water, Haru doesn't want to think. He's never had to before yet now he can't stop. He's done enough thinking to be sure he's right about two things: Makoto tried to kiss him, and Makoto is his water outside the water. Now the thing Haru can't stop thinking about is, what is he to Makoto?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe In and Drink Up the Sky

There's an indoor swimming pool two towns over that they sometimes break into at night, just the two of them. They've been coming here since Makoto's fifteenth birthday. It was Haru's gift to him, although Makoto had laughed that first time and said it was more like Haru's unbirthday gift to himself. Haru had looked away but not before seeing the open curve of Makoto's laughing mouth soften into a smile; when he'd dived in then, the water had felt especially cool on his face.

Hours later when they were leaving, Makoto had said they should come again some time. Haru hadn't said anything but he'd smiled. Makoto had smiled again; sighed as he smiled and said, "Thank you, Haru." Haru already knew he really had liked the gift, even if he'd made fun at first, but it still made him feel good to see that smile—not the usual one Makoto always has for everyone but the one he sometimes gives Haru when he doesn't have to. 

Now that they have a swim team, Haru was worried Makoto was going to want to invite the others along, which would have been troublesome since Nagisa would break the tranquility here without even realizing it existed and Rei can't swim yet. But when Makoto asked if he wanted to go swimming tonight to break in their new swimsuits, he hadn't mentioned the others, and Haru had been relieved at the wordless agreement that this pool is still theirs.

They've been here awhile. Haru doesn't know how long it's been because he never tracks time when he's in the water, but when he comes up from a turn, he sees Makoto on the other side of the pool, standing at the head of his own lane. He's been practicing his start, perfecting the push-off and arc of his dive to maximize his underwater distance exactly to the fifteen meter limit, but now he's just watching Haru.

Haru pulls up when he finishes his lap, thinking it must be time to go; he may lose track of time but he knows Makoto doesn't. 

"Hey, Haru..." Makoto trails off and, when Haru looks at him, leans in. 

Haru pushes him away before he realizes what he's doing, before he even really thinks about what Makoto is doing.

Makoto goes under the water with a splash, comes up laughing. Haru isn't laughing. "I just wanted to do that before—no, I don't know what that was," Makoto says, not looking back even though Haru is pretty sure he knows Haru is looking at him. Makoto climbs out of the pool, his everyday smile for everyone else—the one that Haru doesn't believe—in place as he turns to hold out his hand. "Sorry, sorry! Never mind me, okay?"

Haru lets Makoto pull him out like always and doesn't say anything, but he does mind very much. More than what happened in the pool, or didn't happen, Haru is bothered by the idea that Makoto wants to be disregarded. Usually Haru has no problem not paying attention to things but the fact that Makoto wants him to not pay attention to this only makes Haru think about it all the more. 

He thinks about it on the bike ride home, and in the shower, and as he climbs into bed.

That night he has the dream. It always starts off the same: he's standing on the starting block, looking over the edge of the pool, down at Makoto in the water—facing the wall, feet up and hands on the grips, the curve of his back continuing up his nape with the slight bow of his head. This is how Haru knows it's a dream: he has never actually seen Makoto like this because backstroke is always the first leg in the medley relay and freestyle is always last, and anyhow the next swimmer doesn't take the block until the current swimmer is away.

In the dream, though, Haru is in position on the starter's block. He doesn't hear the whistle; he only knows it's begun because Makoto releases the grips, swinging his arms around sideways toward the front, throwing his head back as he pushes off.

That is Haru's signal in the dream: he jumps and, even though he has started a fraction of a second behind Makoto, their dives synchronize, their arcs a perfect curved parallel, shifting to intersect, their hands coming closer and closer as they reach for the water—

Haru doesn't know what happens after that or if there is more to the dream at all; that's all he ever remembers. If he thinks about it, it's a strange dream. But in the dream he never feels strange, so he doesn't give it much thought awake.

This time, though, something goes wrong: Makoto leaps and Haru doesn't. 

That is where the dream ends tonight. 

 

If Haru has other dreams, he doesn't remember them in the morning. He wakes up feeling like he hasn't slept, like he was up all night thinking about what happened at the pool. Maybe he was; maybe that's why he can't remember any other dreams.

Whether or not he thought about it in his sleep, he's thinking about it again now, and what he thinks is that Makoto tried to kiss him. He doesn't know what else it could have been. Haru doesn't know why Makoto wanted to or what he thinks is about to happen, but there must be something since he said he "wanted to do that before—" and then didn't finish the sentence, as if whatever is to come is unspeakable.

He's been thinking so much that he doesn't hear the doorbell. He does at least hear the knock on the bathroom door in time to look up as Makoto opens it. Makoto smiles and holds out his hand, just like always, and Haru doesn't know why he thought it was going to be different today. It's fine. Makoto is fine; everything is.

As they walk to school, Haru feels a strange and wonderful sense of lightness, like gravity has relinquished an uncomfortable hold on him inside. It's not the same as floating in water...but it's not entirely unlike that. This feeling isn't new—it's always this way with Makoto: Haru always feels easier around him, like the parts of the world that would hold him down are losing their grip and falling away. He hasn't thought about it until now but now he thinks maybe it's always been like this with Makoto; maybe he even knew it when they were small but somehow he forget, came to accept it without appreciating it, took this feeling for granted. 

Whether or not he knew it before, he knows it now: Makoto is his water outside the water.

Without breaking stride, Haru turns to look at him, really look at him. Feeling the gaze, Makoto turns to look back, quirked brow, hint of a smiling question. Haru shakes his head. He looks straight ahead, waits until he feels Makoto looking straight ahead again too. "Come swimming with me tonight," Haru hears himself say.

"Where? The ocean is still too cold—"

"Our pool."

Makoto laughs. Haru feels his sidelong glance but doesn't return it, doesn't laugh or smile even a little bit. "Haru, we can't. It's too risky to go again this soon."

Haru knows he's right; they usually only go four or five times a year. "I'm going anyhow," he says—and, as he knew would happen, Makoto sighs and says he'll go as well.

 

Haru is a little angry about what happened—didn't happen; almost happened—at the pool last night. Not the thing itself but how it's making him think so much. It's not that he believes in going around thoughtlessly and he doesn't mind how much time he's spent thinking about it today, even as they jogged to the pool tonight—but here in the water he doesn't want to think. He's never had to before, yet now he can't stop. He's done enough thinking to be sure he's right about two things: Makoto tried to kiss him, and Makoto is his water outside the water. 

Now the thing Haru can't stop thinking about is, what is he to Makoto? He's not Makoto's water because Makoto is still afraid of the water. But he loves swimming, and he seems especially to love swimming with Haru... So maybe, just maybe, Haru is Makoto's earth in the water, making Makoto feel grounded here the way he helps Haru float on land. 

When he gets to the end of his lane, Haru stops and takes off his goggles to watch Makoto butterfly kick out of his far turn, surfacing and stroking home with smooth ferocity. Instead of turning again, Makoto reaches to touch the wall and drops his feet. Brow furrowed, he pushes his goggles up as he looks at Haru. "Is everything all right?"

Haru nods. Pushing down one-handed on the divider, he floats himself into Makoto's lane. Makoto tilts his head as Haru touches down in front of him, mouth opening with the first syllable of Haru's name, reshaping with inhaled uncertainty as Haru takes hold of his arms. And then Haru pulls Makoto underwater with him.

Makoto's mouth is closed when Haru touches it with his own. Tiny air bubbles escape as he nudges between Makoto's lips. Haru doesn't know how deep a breath Makoto was able to draw before they came underwater but he took a deep one himself and he shares it now, breathing into Makoto: and it comes to him that he is not Makoto's earth, after all, but his air.

When they surface, Makoto gives him a smile Haru hasn't seen before, one he doesn't think anyone has seen; he's sure Makoto has never smiled like this. Haru wouldn't mind looking at this smile a little longer because there are secrets hidden in the edges, but Makoto turns away and climbs out of the pool. "Haru… whatever happens, don't kiss anyone else like that, okay?" He smiles, one of his smiles for Haru though not the same as the one he gave in the water, and offers his hand to help Haru out like always.

Like always, Haru takes his hand. Only this time, he pulls Makoto in instead of letting Makoto pull him out; and this time, he fits his mouth to Makoto's just as they sink beneath the surface, feeling a rush as he draws Makoto's exhale into his own lungs. 

They kiss until Makoto's breathing shallows in Haru's mouth, until Haru feels Makoto going heavy against him and himself going light-headed. When they come up, Makoto tips his head back to swallow a couple of breaths before inclining into the kiss again, slipping his tongue between Haru's lips, coaxing Haru's tongue and breath into his mouth as Haru takes them under once more.

Tremors shiver through Makoto's breathing. Haru knows his fears but he thinks this will be okay: he's always wanted Makoto to feel how all right it can be underwater, wants so much to show him now that it's all right; _it's all right, Makoto, breathe me, breathe~_

The tremors smooth as Makoto's breathing shallows again, his jaw slackening against the cradle of Haru's palm. 

They break the surface. Eyes closed, Makoto takes a deep, damp breath. He looks flushed, feverish. When Haru lets go, reaching up to check his temperature, Makoto backs away. "Don't—" His protest chokes off when Haru touches him: as Haru steps in to press the back of his hand to Makoto's brow, he brushes up against something beneath the surface that makes him look down.

He's not sure how long he looks down, staring through the shifting shimmer of the water at Makoto's hard-on. Too long, probably; long enough, in any case, that Makoto isn't looking at him when he looks back up. 

Flush deepened, Makoto is swallowing air like he can't catch his breath. He tries to say something but if he has the words, he can't get them out. He's not smiling at all, not even the smile he always has for even the worst occasion, as if his smiles have run off with his breath. Haru is supposed to be Makoto's breath so maybe he has Makoto's smile—maybe he inhaled Makoto's smiles while they were underwater. He goes up on tiptoe to return them.

They fall without falling—they float in a soft, gorgeous, wet kiss. Makoto doesn't shy away when Haru brushes against his cock this time; he sighs into Haru's mouth, swallows the sigh Haru offers in return; he swallows Haru's sigh so deeply that Haru realizes Makoto hasn't lost his breath: all his own breaths and Haru's too are bypassing his lungs, going straight to his cock. Haru isn't sure if he was hard before himself but he's definitely getting there now, hard enough to start to ache. He wants Makoto to come underwater with him but he's so breathless himself right now, he's not sure he has enough air for both of them. 

So, hands on Makoto's hips, Haru moves until he feels the wall of the pool at his back. He doesn't need to tell Makoto to hold on as he places his hands on the edge; his fingers latch on immediately, even though the rest of his body is stretched out of starting position, too far away, feet on the pool floor. Haru kisses him again, softer, flashes of tongue and breath slipping from one to the other. 

When he feels Makoto breathing on his own inside and outside the kiss, Haru yields some of his own breath to Makoto as he reaches down to cup his cock. As Haru fondles him, Makoto's breaths form words against Haru's tongue. But when Haru pulls back to look at him, when their eyes meet, Makoto doesn't say anything; he holds his words, holds his breath, until Haru kisses him again. 

As they kiss now, he worms his fingers inside the waistband of Makoto's legskin. When he starts to peel it down, Makoto breaks the kiss. "You can't—we'll get caught."

"If you don't want to get caught, you'll have to stay quiet." 

Makoto's mouth opens but nothing comes out except breath. Haru pulls the legskin down almost to mid-thigh, restricting Makoto's movements, freeing his cock. Haru's breathing goes jagged for a few moments as he looks down through the water. Their gazes lock again as he takes a deep, steady, sustaining breath; and then he goes under. 

He thought Makoto's cock was nice when he was looking at it above, but now it's beautiful. There's something vulnerable about it—or maybe the water is showing Haru a vulnerability that Makoto is feeling, so he takes Makoto into his mouth, forming a tight seal around him so Makoto will feel secure. 

Haru holds Makoto safe and warm in his mouth, cradles him and reassures him with soft licks along the underside of his cock, suckling the heartbeat pulse of Makoto's cockhead until his own blood is humming, his own cock thrumming with that thrilled heartbeat.

The spurts that hit the back of his tongue are salty, thicker than the ocean, thicker than breath; they slide down smoothly when he swallows. He keeps Makoto in his mouth as he presses his palm against himself until he spills out slick a moment later.

Makoto's eyes are closed when Haru surfaces. He's still not breathing easy but Haru thinks he sees a trace of quiet smile lingering along Makoto's mouth. When he moves in to check, Makoto kisses him without tongue, only with breath; breath and smile.

"Here, let me," Makoto murmurs, letting go of the wall and reaching for Haru underwater.

Haru shakes his head. "I already came."

"Oh." Makoto looks like he wants to smile more fully but doesn't know if it's all right. Haru wants it always to be all right for Makoto, at least with him, so he coaxes out the shy smile mouth-to-mouth.

The smile is still there when they part; Haru can feel it on his own lips as well. 

Makoto tugs his legskin up before he gets out of the pool. When he holds out his hand, Haru gets out as well. "Whatever happens—" Makoto says as they stand on the edge of the pool.

"I know," Haru says. "I won't kiss anyone else like that."

They sneak out the way they got in, without incident, without any more words, and begin walking back. 

"Makoto," Haru says, looking up at the stars, "I think I only want to kiss like that." He keeps looking up at the stars, feeling Makoto's sidelong gaze. "So I guess that means I won't be kissing anyone but you."

Makoto doesn't say anything but his shoulder nudges Haru's as they go, and as he looks down from the stars Haru leans into the nudge. When the back of their hands brush, he dips his under as he feels Makoto coming over, their fingers finding each other and sliding into a perfect fit.


End file.
